For years, my self-esteem was in the toilet. Until 2011, when I met a man who became my boyfriend and #1 support. He showed me that I’m not a shitty person, an ugly person, or a worthless person. He showed me that I am beautiful, attractive, and worthy of love. Now, we are no longer together (which btw is a good thing) but I carry with me the message he sent of having self-esteem and seeing my own self-worth. When we broke up, I was able to continue to see my inner beauty and strength, and I love myself now. In the past, validation from him felt great, but I don’t need it anymore. If I believe that I’m attractive, then I’m attractive. I don’t need other people’s approval, and I don’t need anyone to validate me.
self-worth
Validation
I don’t need other people to validate my looks, intelligence, and self-worth. All I need to do is be myself, and have self-confidence and self-love. Other people, even my best friends, can’t meet my emotional needs, and I don’t want to expect that they will. It’s not helpful or fair to put that responsibility on them, always wanting them to help me feel like a beautiful, worthy human being who deserves love. Now, I’m not gonna ditch all my friends, and never go to them when I need someone to talk to. I just want realistic expectations that they can’t make me happy. I mean, I have fun times with them, and I believe that they care about me, but as far as happiness goes, that’s something I need to do. My happiness shouldn’t be based on other people, and whether or not they treat me the way I want to be treated. I need to treat myself the way I want to be treated, and come up with activities I can do to busy my mind and take it off of those nagging thoughts, “So & so didn’t give me the undivided attention I wanted today!” I can give myself attentoin; I can pamper myself with activities that I enjoy.
Skye83 