How Does One “Feel Like A Man”?

What does it mean to feel like a man, to feel masculine, to “embody your own boy-energy”, to “don the mantle of manhood”? What IS boy-energy? What do you mean by allowing yourself to be a boy? What is a boy-self? How exactly does one become a man? I really question this type of language, because it makes no sense to me. And whenever I ask trans people for explanations, the usual response is “I don’t know”. If people don’t know what they’re talking about, then why are they saying these things? I believe the cisgender society is to blame for this type of language, and it’s a shame how many transgender folk get caught up in the language that was made by people who wish we would disappear– a language that frankly sounds like nonsense.

I’m NOT a feminist!!! WTF???

It’s true: I am a Gender Atheist. However, I hate how people keep trying to lump me in with feminists because I don’t believe in gender! I’m not a Gender Abolitionist, and I hate that people start up with the bullshit about feminists being Gender Abolitionists—then pin the terms Gender Abolitionist and feminist on me. I fail to see the connection between being a feminist and wanting gender abolished. That makes no sense to me. If you want gender to be abolished, then why call yourselves feminists; since society equates feminists with women—-and woman is a gender. My Gender Atheism is simply sharing my beliefs; like someone who doesn’t believe in god. I’m not trying to convert people. I’m giving a perspective, with the hope of helping others who are Gender Atheists (without the ridiculous feminism) feel less alone. People tend to make automatic assumptions about what I mean when I share my views about gender, but it would be great if they wouldn’t assume I’m a feminist, then beat me up with their hurtful words.

 

To be perfectly honest, I don’t like feminism! They’re usually women who hate men, who think all men have “male privilege”, who think all men are the ones that oppress them, who think that no men have a right to speak among them, they hate trans people, they desire trans-erasure, they see our transition as mutilation—-why on Earth would I want to be a part of such a horrible organization???!!!

 

I AM trans! I want visibility and awareness of differently gendered people! The masses need to know we exist. But can’t I have my own belief system, and don’t I have the right to trade visibility for my own happiness if I want to? I’m not the fucking Non-Binary Spokesperson! I just wanna transition, then move on to live my life as a human on the Earth. Simple as that. After all the bullshit I’ve been through, it’s unlikely that I will want to be a part of the transgender community after my transition is complete. There will be nothing more for me to say… and frankly, I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life hearing about other people’s journeys. I’ve heard it all before, went through some of it, and now I’m tired of hearing about trans shit.  

 

There’s much more to life than being trans. I have other interests! I want to explore them. I wanna be a part of the Gothic subculture. I want to be a fashion designer, and avid doll collector. I want relationships, romantic as well as no-romantic ones. I want to experience love, joy, excitement, success, challenges that make me stronger, changes that make my life better—it’s called having a life. Since this is now an un-popular opinion among 21st Century trans people, for ME the point of transition is to do it, then move on; not making being trans my entire life. I don’t know why anyone has a problem with that. I’m entitled to live my life as I please. After all, I came out of the closet to be LIBERATED!! Not to be bombarded with the opinions of other trans people who want to criticize every fucking thing I say, write, or do!!