How Does One “Feel Like A Man”?

What does it mean to feel like a man, to feel masculine, to “embody your own boy-energy”, to “don the mantle of manhood”? What IS boy-energy? What do you mean by allowing yourself to be a boy? What is a boy-self? How exactly does one become a man? I really question this type of language, because it makes no sense to me. And whenever I ask trans people for explanations, the usual response is “I don’t know”. If people don’t know what they’re talking about, then why are they saying these things? I believe the cisgender society is to blame for this type of language, and it’s a shame how many transgender folk get caught up in the language that was made by people who wish we would disappear– a language that frankly sounds like nonsense.


I Speak Up About The Use of the “T” Word

I was watching a You Tube video about a person who bought a new wig. The texture of it was kinky curly/afro, and the hair was reeeeeaaaaaallllllyyy big! So they said, “This hair is lookin’ kinda tranny, kinda drag queen…” I WAS LIVID! I knew that if I didn’t speak up about this person’s ignorance, that nobody else would! So, I wrote the following comment:
F.Y.I.  The use of the word “tranny” is HIGHLY offensive to transgender people. It’s also VERY disrespectful to say that big hair makes a person look like a drag queen. Also, it is INCREDIBLY ignorant to put drag queen and transgender in the same category, as though they are the same. Transgender means that a person was assigned one gender at birth, but identifies with another gender.  A drag queen is a man who puts on make-up/wigs/dresses/heals for a period of time, then takes that stuff off after he’s done looking that way; he does not dress that way full-time. SEE, they are different. Transgender does not mean “a man in a dress”. Drag queen is not a transgender person. Think before you speak, because you could really hurt people.

My new video “Everything Is Gendered!”

Oh, hiii! I made a new You Tube video about the annoying fact that society likes to gender label everything, specifically clothes and hairstyles. It’s geared toward trans people, but I think it could apply to anyone. It’s cute. It’s funny. Check it out!


Ovulation-Induced Psychosis…. Hmmm….

A temporary hormonal imbalance that results in distressing and uncharacteristic behaviours, and disappears once the ovulation cycle is over. Symptoms:

– thinking the world is against them

– assuming people hate them and what them out of their lives when they are admonished

-having little to no patience

– swiftly dismissing people from their life

– crying uncontrollably

– spelling errors

– accidental injuries

– extreme forgetfulness

– taking everything personally

– suicidal thoughts

– violent behaviour

– depression

– hopelessness

– despair

– feelings of being unloved

– bothered by things that don’t bother a person when they are not ovulating

– black and white thinking

– anxiety

– occasional mental confusion

– negative self-talk

– negative talking in conversations with others

– easily stressed out

– making bad decisions

– sometimes choosing to isolate so the person does not lose friends over psychotic behaviour during the ovulation cycle

– changes in sex drive

– hot flashes and night sweats

– not believing people when they are told that they are cared about/loved

– irritation

– a lack of desire to be touched by self or others

– sensitive skin/strong sense of smell

– addiction to sweets/ salty foods

Well… I pretty much fit this description! And I thought I was going crazy! Turns out that I’m not.

I’m NOT a feminist!!! WTF???

It’s true: I am a Gender Atheist. However, I hate how people keep trying to lump me in with feminists because I don’t believe in gender! I’m not a Gender Abolitionist, and I hate that people start up with the bullshit about feminists being Gender Abolitionists—then pin the terms Gender Abolitionist and feminist on me. I fail to see the connection between being a feminist and wanting gender abolished. That makes no sense to me. If you want gender to be abolished, then why call yourselves feminists; since society equates feminists with women—-and woman is a gender. My Gender Atheism is simply sharing my beliefs; like someone who doesn’t believe in god. I’m not trying to convert people. I’m giving a perspective, with the hope of helping others who are Gender Atheists (without the ridiculous feminism) feel less alone. People tend to make automatic assumptions about what I mean when I share my views about gender, but it would be great if they wouldn’t assume I’m a feminist, then beat me up with their hurtful words.


To be perfectly honest, I don’t like feminism! They’re usually women who hate men, who think all men have “male privilege”, who think all men are the ones that oppress them, who think that no men have a right to speak among them, they hate trans people, they desire trans-erasure, they see our transition as mutilation—-why on Earth would I want to be a part of such a horrible organization???!!!


I AM trans! I want visibility and awareness of differently gendered people! The masses need to know we exist. But can’t I have my own belief system, and don’t I have the right to trade visibility for my own happiness if I want to? I’m not the fucking Non-Binary Spokesperson! I just wanna transition, then move on to live my life as a human on the Earth. Simple as that. After all the bullshit I’ve been through, it’s unlikely that I will want to be a part of the transgender community after my transition is complete. There will be nothing more for me to say… and frankly, I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life hearing about other people’s journeys. I’ve heard it all before, went through some of it, and now I’m tired of hearing about trans shit.  


There’s much more to life than being trans. I have other interests! I want to explore them. I wanna be a part of the Gothic subculture. I want to be a fashion designer, and avid doll collector. I want relationships, romantic as well as no-romantic ones. I want to experience love, joy, excitement, success, challenges that make me stronger, changes that make my life better—it’s called having a life. Since this is now an un-popular opinion among 21st Century trans people, for ME the point of transition is to do it, then move on; not making being trans my entire life. I don’t know why anyone has a problem with that. I’m entitled to live my life as I please. After all, I came out of the closet to be LIBERATED!! Not to be bombarded with the opinions of other trans people who want to criticize every fucking thing I say, write, or do!!

Transgender Day of (In) Visibility

The Transgender Day of Visibility didn’t apply to me personally because I’m not visibly trans. Society at large still thinks I’m a woman without question. A lack of boobs makes absolutely NO difference AT ALL. I get called by some form of female pronoun everyday, and when I correct people, they don’t seem the least bit apologetic. You’d think the OBVIOUS lack of boobs would draw attention. Especially since I wear tiny, tight shirts from the children’s department. How TIGHT do my shirts have to get before they realize it? Should I wear shirts from the toddler’s department instead? I guess I have to write “I am not a woman!” on my forehead with black eyeliner to get people’s attention.