What does it mean to feel like a man, to feel masculine, to “embody your own boy-energy”, to “don the mantle of manhood”? What IS boy-energy? What do you mean by allowing yourself to be a boy? What is a boy-self? How exactly does one become a man? I really question this type of language, because it makes no sense to me. And whenever I ask trans people for explanations, the usual response is “I don’t know”. If people don’t know what they’re talking about, then why are they saying these things? I believe the cisgender society is to blame for this type of language, and it’s a shame how many transgender folk get caught up in the language that was made by people who wish we would disappear– a language that frankly sounds like nonsense.
Binary System
I Speak Up About The Use of the “T” Word
I was watching a You Tube video about a person who bought a new wig. The texture of it was kinky curly/afro, and the hair was reeeeeaaaaaallllllyyy big! So they said, “This hair is lookin’ kinda tranny, kinda drag queen…” I WAS LIVID! I knew that if I didn’t speak up about this person’s ignorance, that nobody else would! So, I wrote the following comment:
F.Y.I. The use of the word “tranny” is HIGHLY offensive to transgender people. It’s also VERY disrespectful to say that big hair makes a person look like a drag queen. Also, it is INCREDIBLY ignorant to put drag queen and transgender in the same category, as though they are the same. Transgender means that a person was assigned one gender at birth, but identifies with another gender. A drag queen is a man who puts on make-up/wigs/dresses/heals for a period of time, then takes that stuff off after he’s done looking that way; he does not dress that way full-time. SEE, they are different. Transgender does not mean “a man in a dress”. Drag queen is not a transgender person. Think before you speak, because you could really hurt people.
My new video “Everything Is Gendered!”
Oh, hiii! I made a new You Tube video about the annoying fact that society likes to gender label everything, specifically clothes and hairstyles. It’s geared toward trans people, but I think it could apply to anyone. It’s cute. It’s funny. Check it out!
I’m NOT a feminist!!! WTF???
It’s true: I am a Gender Atheist. However, I hate how people keep trying to lump me in with feminists because I don’t believe in gender! I’m not a Gender Abolitionist, and I hate that people start up with the bullshit about feminists being Gender Abolitionists—then pin the terms Gender Abolitionist and feminist on me. I fail to see the connection between being a feminist and wanting gender abolished. That makes no sense to me. If you want gender to be abolished, then why call yourselves feminists; since society equates feminists with women—-and woman is a gender. My Gender Atheism is simply sharing my beliefs; like someone who doesn’t believe in god. I’m not trying to convert people. I’m giving a perspective, with the hope of helping others who are Gender Atheists (without the ridiculous feminism) feel less alone. People tend to make automatic assumptions about what I mean when I share my views about gender, but it would be great if they wouldn’t assume I’m a feminist, then beat me up with their hurtful words.
To be perfectly honest, I don’t like feminism! They’re usually women who hate men, who think all men have “male privilege”, who think all men are the ones that oppress them, who think that no men have a right to speak among them, they hate trans people, they desire trans-erasure, they see our transition as mutilation—-why on Earth would I want to be a part of such a horrible organization???!!!
I AM trans! I want visibility and awareness of differently gendered people! The masses need to know we exist. But can’t I have my own belief system, and don’t I have the right to trade visibility for my own happiness if I want to? I’m not the fucking Non-Binary Spokesperson! I just wanna transition, then move on to live my life as a human on the Earth. Simple as that. After all the bullshit I’ve been through, it’s unlikely that I will want to be a part of the transgender community after my transition is complete. There will be nothing more for me to say… and frankly, I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life hearing about other people’s journeys. I’ve heard it all before, went through some of it, and now I’m tired of hearing about trans shit.
There’s much more to life than being trans. I have other interests! I want to explore them. I wanna be a part of the Gothic subculture. I want to be a fashion designer, and avid doll collector. I want relationships, romantic as well as no-romantic ones. I want to experience love, joy, excitement, success, challenges that make me stronger, changes that make my life better—it’s called having a life. Since this is now an un-popular opinion among 21st Century trans people, for ME the point of transition is to do it, then move on; not making being trans my entire life. I don’t know why anyone has a problem with that. I’m entitled to live my life as I please. After all, I came out of the closet to be LIBERATED!! Not to be bombarded with the opinions of other trans people who want to criticize every fucking thing I say, write, or do!!
Pronouns…
I’m okay-ish with “they/them/their”, but I saw a set of other pronouns on someone’s blog that I like better–ve/ver/vis:
Ve: Ve laughed. I called ver. Vis eyes gleam. That is vis. Ve likes verself.
I realize that some people might find it an inconvenience to adopt a totally unheard of set of pronouns, but I think that what I want to be called should be respected and acknowledged. Even if it is all new and confusing to others at first.
How About Saying, Pregnant “PERSON”?
Frustration…
Trans men and Trans women get mad at me for being not only genderless, but for being a Gender Atheist. They take it as a threat to their identities. They take it personally, and get bent out of shape, talking about their right to have a gender identity–when really it’s ALL ABOUT ME and my beliefs. Not to sound disrespectful, but I’m not thinking about THEM! I’m thinking about how a lack of gender makes me feel content and free! I live by no gender rules, like people with a gender identity often do– whether they live by the rules for the gender they identify with, or they live by the rules for the gender they were assigned at birth. A genderless person in the transgender community is like a slap in the face to trans people. Here they are doing all these things to transition, pass and live as the opposite gender they were assigned at birth, sometimes living by the binary gender rules (just the opposite ones that they were once oppressed with–THAT makes sense..), and going overboard with the gender stereotypes as a way to prove their “manhood” or “womanhood”. Then I come along saying I’m Agender, and I have no rules and I’m not trying to do anything to “pass” because that word doesn’t apply to me! (“Pass” as what? I dunno…as a human?) They get so frustrated, and move on to not only try and defend their identity, but to criticize me for not having one! Humans like to live in well-defined boxes with a certain criteria that has to be met in order to fit into a particular box. You can try to put me in a box, but you won’t succeed…because there is no box for me!
Skye83 