I don’t like to be associated with the binary-focused segment of the Transgender community, even though “technically” I’m under the trans umbrella. Transgender people who are a part of the binary system don’t like me because I want gender to be abolished. That’s like a slap in the face to them because crossing genders consumes their lives. They want to be recognized for the genders they are in their minds. They’ve felt dismissed, labeled crazy, and suffered abuse from this cis-dominated world, but have fought so hard to be treated as the genders they identify with, who deserve the same rights as cis people. Then I come along, saying I have no gender and I’m a Gender Atheist who thinks gender should be eradicated! My beliefs must make them feel invalidated and hurt. It’s probably better to stay away from any trans person who gets offended with my point-of-view, and just hang out with Non-Binary, Genderfluid, Agender, Neutrois, people who aren’t offended by my beliefs.
Skye83 
Trans people with binary gender identities are not a monolithic group with the same opinions on everything. I come across people who have different views of gender from me every single day, and it’s just not that big of a deal. Good for you for being a thoughtful person who speaks your mind. If you think all people should be treated with dignity, I am not offended by whatever disagreements we have. I can understand why you want to abolish gender; I felt the same way for a long time.
It may take a long time for gender eradication, but it would be lovely if society would AT LEAST start learning to place less and less importance on gender roles/stereotypes! I think trying to force people to act a certain way based on either assigned gender or gender they identify with causes a lot of pain!
I am in complete agreement with you there! Gender expectations limit freedom and cause a great deal of pain.
The thing is, it’s important for people to have both “freedom from” and “freedom to,” IMO. Freedom from violence and restrictive norms, freedom to express masculinity, femininity, androgyny, etc. in whatever ways suit them
What do femininity and masculinity mean? I wish someone would give me an answer to that question… but no one does!!
They are hard to pin down, and it is frustrating that people often insist they are these fixed, obvious qualities…then refuse to define them in any way. Not cool.
I would say masculinity is the set of behaviors and attributes most closely associated with men in a given cultural and historical context. Femininity is the set of behaviors and attributes most closely associated with women in a given cultural and historical context. Androgyny refers to a blending of these culturally specific masculine and feminine behaviors/attributes. In other words, they are social constructs that vary across place and time. Same for the concepts of “men” and “women” and any other genders recognized in a given society.
Looking at the historical and anthropological records, I notice that the vast majority of human communities (all, as far as I know) make use of these constructs in some way. The content of the constructs varies widely. What doesn’t vary so much is that people make meanings from the human body, sexuality, and conceptually related social roles–I would call this combination gender.
Personally, I see gender as similar to language. It’s a tool for meaning, communication and social organization that is part of the expressive repertoire of our species. Just like languages vary tremendously among groups, so does gender. In my opinion, the fact that it is so widespread suggest that, like language, gender is probably doing something pretty important for us.
When I say that people should have both “freedom from” and “freedom to” when it comes to gender, I mean that 1) we should seek a gender system that is just and equitable and 2) people should be free to engage with the gender system of their society in a way that is comfortable.
Just my take, of course. Does that answer your question?
Btw, may I ask what pronouns you prefer? I’ve been enjoying this comment thread and may write a post about it, and if I do I’d like to acknowledge you for your post. 🙂
My pronouns are “they/them/themself/their/they’re/Your Majesty” (kidding on the last one) 🙂
I see where you’re coming from, but since we do live in a gendered society, I’d rather be seen as one and not the other. Although, that probably makes me part of the problem in a way, but I feel like I haven’t altered my behavior in any way to fit myself into a box that is labeled with a particular gender. Anyway, as another commenter pointed out, I’m sure it’s not true that transgender people who try to fit into the binary don’t like you. Sure, some may not like you, but we shouldn’t assign a belief to a group of people.
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