That’s Not Funny! That’s Hurtful!

An internet friend wrote this about the touchy subject of people offending others on the internet, making fun of minorities, and giving trans people a hard time for being themselves:

 

If someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with total seriousness, “I don’t get it, can you explain it?” Then watch them crash and burn.

OPEN MESSAGE to anyone who doesn’t “get” what this means, why jokes aren’t funny when they’re hurtful, and why “isms” and stereotypes are not okay:

I am walking minority, and I’m calling you out on your attitude. I want to understand where you are coming from– Does anyone have the balls to give me an honest answer? I’m going to let you into my life a little bit, and see if then, you could explain what precisely is so funny about these types of jokes?

Let me make it clear that i don’t blame the world for my situation; it’s simply the reality of my life, and i have to deal with it. However, i’d sincerely like to understand the mentality of, “i don’t have to worry about it, so it’s funny/not important/this person is beneath me,” because these attitudes stifle my life, EVERY DAY. To imply that there’s some sort of obscure humour to be found in making fun of people who aren’t married to a member of the opposite sex who is within their age range and race, and living behind a white picket fence with 2.5 children, is absurd. I apologise for any redundancy, but I CANNOT WRAP MY MIND AROUND IT.

All I’m asking for is compassion. I want you to live your life to the fullest, but PLEASE understand that I am just different, NOT EVIL, and i deserve to be happy too!

Is it funny that I’ve been raped and strangled because I’m a woman?

Is it funny that Trayvon Martin, and millions of others are profiled, attacked, arrested, murdered, because their skin colour somehow makes them seem more suspicious?

It sure wasn’t funny to me, when I showed an acquaintance a picture of my beautiful son, and she actually said to me, “Your baby is really cute for being mulatto. No offense.”

Is it funny that coming out as an agender, bisexual human being puts me at a serious disadvantage in life, and even a target to be attacked or killed, based on the preconceived notions of others?

How funny is it that, whenever I go out in public, people look at me like I’m someone who might harm them, just because I let my appearance reflect my personality?

Is it funny that these jokes lead to acceptable societal views, to hatred, oppression and even death?

Is it funny that people are offended by these hateful “jokes” and stigmas?

Adults are far more vicious bullies than their children, and they tend to pass it down like genetics. Bullied souls often wind up miserable, committing suicide, neglecting and abusing others, and occasionally, going on murder sprees.

I have PTSD so severe that I’ve spent my entire life focusing SOLELY on surviving. Part of my survival mode, when psychiatry failed me, was drug addiction. That further threw me down the ladder of “people you get to look down on”.

I’m recovering from these things daily, without professionals. I believe “mental illness” is a damaging term (and HUGE stigma) that can’t possibly encompass what it means to live with a brain that perceives reality differently. I am not “crazy”; society tells you what is “mentally ill,” and what is not, and you take them at their word, because society just wants everyone to be quiet, and not bother anyone else. Fit in, conform, and shut up.

I can’t afford health insurance; I’m waiting on the Medicaid expansion until the ACA takes effect. I can’t work unless i can get my “mental illnesses” under control, but I can’t afford to go to a doctor and buy medications, or even get documentation of my illnesses, so I can GET disability and health insurance while I’m recovering. I get judged for these things EVERY. SINGLE. DAY… and that’s just the tip of my iceberg.

I am ostracized, for merely having a traumatized brain that is stuck in survival mode. Why do I need to label myself with PTSD, in order to get empathy? That’s awfully personal, and I don’t ask you about your health, before I’m kind to you. Why can’t you look at me and understand that I am who I am because of what life has handed me, and how I’ve reacted? That’s all anyone is! The strong and weak zones of my brain are different from the average person and society is not set up for anyone to live outside the box.

If these things are not funny, you look like a selfish ASSHAT, if you continue to seek amusement at the expense of others. I don’t need to lighten up and learn how to take a joke– I do have a sense of humour, but pain and oppression are not funny.

Look at my face in the avatar: I’m a person; i think and feel. Do i deserve to have my life trampled on, because i am in minorities?

All i can do is hypothesize, since i don’t believe anyone can give me a valid answer… Maybe you’re so uncomfortable with what goes on outside your reality that you just have to shut it out, and use humour to make it better?
Maybe you were raised to be hateful? Maybe you’re insecure about yourself, and need to feel better than others, in order to survive? I DON’T GET IT, though, and as I said before jokes are supposed to be funny. Fear is natural, but so is curiosity. Why not open your mind, just a tiny bit, and try something new, even if it’s just your attitude? We would all be much better off, if we could show a little bit of compassion.

I wish you all peace and love. We could all use more of that in life.

I don’t expect to change everyone’s mind, but I know do one thing. It certainly isn’t funny for anyone to write these off as the crazy ramblings of a feminist, recovering addict, liberal after reading this, for that truly, is the decay of society.